First Step to Understanding the Profound Beauty of Heathenry
keys to the secret code of edda of the north
A gentle kiss of innocent love, and our Sleeping Beauty within wakes up.
<some 11.100 words,
ca 18 pp A4 10 pt (or27pp12pt) default margins>
Here I include some heathen pedagogy,
if that interests some of you. As this is a chat, spoken chatter, --
and answering questions, too, as they come -- there are repetitions.
Do not let that annoy you. You will gather the meaning of heathen
pedagogy and heathen philosophy of being.
What is said here in __X (many)__ words can be said in few: No obedience, responsibility and love only.
So enjoy listening:
--> for the complete understanding: audio-video,
the abyss of the symbolic language of edda
We shall consider:
How a prevailing philosophy in society reflects upon (i.e. influences) the attitude towards bringing up a little human being.
How each home becomes a miniature portrayal of either tyranny that a society suffers or freedom that it enjoys.
Social workers that are not very devoted christians, do tell us that the male ruled society, the imported Semitic culture, the dominus in the house, is a very bad thing for kids. On a large scale the states in christian countries are built up as hierarchy, where there is a powerful top figure, and the power is less at the bottom of the pyramid. This is reflected in homes, where the husband rules, the wife is obedient and she dresses the kids, It is as in a flock of geese or some herd animals, but often by them the female has more power than a woman of the Semitic and christian societies, and the youngs are freer than the kids of Judeo-christian homes.
Kids are dressed to obey like dogs, and God will punish you is the scare-crow, when dad and the police fail to frighten the little rebel (--the little monster in the home).
The hierarchy and power in society is reflected in power and rule of obedience in homes. God is at the top, then the prophets, then popes, bishops, priests, males, at the bottom then women and kids and other useful obedient domestic animals.
Please skip the
bible stuff: I beat my son because I love him. Love is love
unbounded, threat is not love, conditions are not love.
Actually, the power-discipline on a robust kid is like squeezing a balloon. It might give in from your grip, but certainly will swell where you can not get hold. An outburst of anger and will can become exposed in wrong places and wrong times, instead of being of use in life and work for the powerful individual. The will should be channelled for the good of the owner and his friends and the whole world. Not suppressed and turned into opposition. The only way to channel the gift of will into the positive and creative is giving the little immature owner of will love. Abundant love and understanding.
For a heathen this actually dangerous. The person in a top position can be more stupid and less evolved than a little kid. Obedience is something that should not be used at all. I repeat, as I can hear you amazement when you hear this: Obedience should be dismissed altogether. Yes.
Each individual should be his own boss, and not be bossing others.
So what do we do with the little monsters in the home?
That is easy.
What heathens call rules is not what Judeo-christian people call rules. Rules in a heathen home are of a behavioural nature, such as going to bed early because the early-night sleep is sound. Tidying up one's room because orderly arranged things make things easy. Order of my thing is what I call order. Mom might have a different opinion on it, so I am careful not to mess up her things or have my mess in her way. That might irritate her; the last thing I would want to do to my mother, because she always helps me and I want to be of joy to her.
Rules that we know in the Judeo-christian societies are: you must obey, or father gets angry and/or God gets angry. Tidy up your room or you shall have no pocket money this week.
Rules in a heathen home are: It is good to go early to bed as the evening sleep is sound for us, but what if the kid is not sleepy?
In many cases the kid can not sleep because the house is full of TV noise, even cigarette smoke. If parents go to sleep early, the kid might sneak a little torch under the cover and read itself to sleep in peace.
Heathenry has an answer and an advise for every problem with which pedagogy is concerned. And they all work fine.
There is no threat, no hell, no revenge; There is no price for obedience, no heaven, no biscuit for a good puppy.
A heathen kid does not lie to his/her parents, because truth is what we should stand up to, and there is no disobedience that has to be hidden.
So are they uncontrollable monsters? No rules to be kept?
They learn to control themselves. They learn not to control others. But they make good leaders and good teams.
Is this actually possible?
Yes, it is. And very easy and convenient. There is total trust, total self-reliance, total responsibility, but there is plenty of help from grown-ups (parents and teachers) to develop it, to practice it, to find it, to use it in daily life.
No punishment needed, no threat of punishment needed, and the the real price is: I can do it myself. I can do good deeds and perform right actions. I do my part because then I am a real person.
Kid brought up in heathenry make good leaders because there is a logical reason-behaviour-outcome pattern in their attitude. Others see a "whole" and "sound" person. We trust such a person that is fair and stands up to a fair play. No dirty plots to promote selfish purposes and cheat on others.
A kid that is brought up in the pattern: If you do not obey you will have no pocket-money, learns is a false logic: Just like: if a soldier refuses to kill he is shot for disobedience.
The real purpose and sequence is not in this pattern. It is illogical. It teaches rotten moral.
Every action brings a reaction back to the doer. We know this from science and is goes for our thoughts too. We should learn to see this clearly. Not for pocket-money that can be gotten if little lies are used and little slyness to cheat on rigid parents.
Heathens are much of individuals. My behaviour is my responsibility and my Urður (Urdur) and Verðandi (Verdandi) becomes my Skuld (Debt). My actions affect everything and everyone, and they come back to me sooner or later, in this life or next lives. That is why an action is not "cheating to get out easily", but must be seen in a sound connection to its real meaning.
In spite of the "I, myself" concept, there is no egoism or the exalting of the ego. The egocentric referral is for the self-improvement and self-restraint.
Yes, because heathen means spotless, clear, cloudless, fair, faultless, and broad-minded as is the vastness of the sky and the wilderness of the mountains and moors, the heaths, the heathen sky.
The freedom is the freedom to be great. In order to be (and become) great we should perfect ourselves. To perfect ourselves we should see the whole universe in us and feel that our power is to make it perfect.
Sounds easy and sounds sound?
Yes. It does.
It is good to be a heathen kid, but it demands maturity and personality and mood -- and demands to be of great worth. But heathen parents and friends and relatives are there for us, and every problem can be discussed. Just ask if you are not sure. Try out your ideas, learn from mistakes, and your family will help you and smile
The kids makes a decision for itself, after a rational discussion, and if it turns out to have been bad, the kid is not mocked and ridiculed. Inside us, each one of us, we know what we want. That is the right thing to do. It is our fate. Nobody else can tell us what we want. But help can be there to clear our mind.
If this is starter nine months before birth, and kept as a good habit in all occasions, it is easy.
But if we want to start to-day the "real consequence" business, and quit that irrational behaviour business (if you do not obey you shall have no pocket-money), we shall have to make a sincere effort, because we are so familiar with "little lies" that we do not notice.
I suggest: Watch, for one day, every reason given by every person you meat that day, and see if you find gaps in the behaviour-consequence pattern.
When an individual knows that he can control his fate, he gains a feeling of security. Being hopelessly prone to the revenge of a whimsical God-master, can lead to suicides of youngsters. Heathen kids learn to see the events as a part of a larger picture, where "my" fate is "my doings", and it is in "my" power to do the best of it. There is no fleeing from it, as this life is meant to sort things out and make a firmer plan for what is coming. Take it as it comes, and see every event as an opportunity to use ingenuity.
Heathens see each individual as unique, and every human must live his own life in his own unique way. Concepts like "men as a herd of sheep", "mass", "commandments", "obedience", "patriarchy", "matriarchy", "punishment as a revenge, of God", "devil", "hell", "ban", are unknown to the heathen mind. They are dangerous to the life of the individual. They mean using fear in order to subdue a man (--a big man or a little man makes no difference; subduing is wrong).
The real Skuld of every action should be discussed. Not the doggie-biscuit. Cause and effect of each action or of inertness, not obedience and punishment.
A lousy misuse of Santa Claus:
I think it is very wrong to use that token of love - the surprise gift of love in the shoe in the morning - as a punishment as some christian mothers do when they put a raw potato in the shoe for their sleeping child instead of the sweet token of love.
This lousy punishment is betrayal of innocence, and arouses bitterness, brings humiliation. It provokes _not_ the will to help one's mother and love her back as she loves her kid.
This revenging God that some know, obviously gives the message of the carrot-and-the-stick way for obedience. The hell-heaven threat-reward business is _not_ sound pedagogy.
In short: It is much better to teach a kid a sound heathen responsibility than to use only a demand for obedience and then threat a kid with punishment. It is lousy philosophy even if we use it for dogs and donkeys that seem to be just eager to please. Seem not to show any severe psychological troubles, even if they have to learn to obey the dominus. Their life is that of a domestic animal, that gets food for obedience and something bad for laziness.
But this method much less goes for a human. We should know that humans have the ability to see more freedom for the mind and soul than does an animal. An animal acts according to its nature. And so do we. But we are in a bad position here, my boy: We see right and wrong, and we know that we do not see the whole picture, only a small part of it. This is what makes the game of life for a human such fun and such difficult task to perform.
We might call a free animal a wild animal. But why do we see a free little human as a wild (uncontrolled) monster?
OK, OK, OK. Let's call a little heathen kid a wild little monster. But he or she will definitely not become a controllable soldier in an army ruled by a despotic general. Not a sheep in a herd obeying a shepherd. A heathen will always be free, wild if you prefer that word, and free from the obedient army/herd-animal concept.
It is fun to be together, but a pack is not for humans.
I always admire a stubborn donkey who has the guts to refuse to move. I shall lift my hat and salute such a stubborn animal that mocks the carrot and the stick (heaven-hell, sweets-rawpotato).
Back to Santa and the carrot-stick and biscuit for a good doggie.
Should a little human being have to pay for the token of love? Then is it not a gift at all. Only a shop. Must the kid be obedient like a dog or he will not have a gift of love?
I have seen broken little hearts, the fighting of a tear of anger, the sorrow in the eyes, when kids find a punishment in the shoe while siblings get sweets.
I do not like when the christians use all our beautiful concepts to suppress and force obedience. These mothers are weak and stupid and evil.
Yule never were associated with oppression, tyranny, and obedience to rules. Yule never were meant as a tool for theocratic domination.
The most beautiful story I heard the other day; I love this story, because a bad tempered mother could not spoil the joy in the little girl:
A christian mother put a potato in her little daughter's shoe in the window sill during one of the dark nights of early December to punish her little daughter for something. The little girl slept soundly, looking forward to yule, expecting a gift in the shoe when she would wake up. She found a potato. She was very happy. The yule-man really had given her something. It was a raw potato and the little girl carefully and smiling carried the gift to show her mother, asking her permission to boil it with the other potatoes, and she wanted to make sure that it did not get mixed up with the ones that came out of the potato bag in the kitchen cupboard. -Look mamma, Santa gave me a potato! Can you help me boil it, please? How can I make sure it does not get mixed up in the pot with the potatoes that you take out of the bag in the cupboard? This one is from Santa to me.
The innocent and pure joy of yule was too great inside the kid to be damaged, -- and the lousy punishment hit back the lousy mother and left her amusingly belittle
Odinn on his pony glides through the air at winter solstice to chase away ill wights of cold and darkness. In other words: the human consciousness (Odinn) rids itself of ignorance to accept the inner spiritual goddess Sun rising in our awareness.
Heathen kids help Odinn by putting out grains for his pony. This symbols giving strength to the positive power in us.
Santa might be, in his jingle bell reindeer sledge, Odinn, and therefore should bring joy, love, hope, and light. Not be used as a tool for the demand of obedience to man-made domestic rules.
We do not need threats. We should rather be taught that the norns/witches of fate are our own responsibility, Týr (Tyr) our own righteousness, the responsibility for our doings -- our own doings, Skaði (Skadi) our will to aim at the right target.
The great goddess, dynamism of life itself, should be found in our mother. We should not be taught to act out of fear, not for egoistic gain, not by fear and threat of punishment. Not for bonbons and pocket money. And rules should be educational, not invented just to suppress the vigorous (too robust) kids. The rules should not be there to make kids fit into the grown-up's plans and needs -- on the grown-up's selfish ends only.
And thus we should tell the truth, not some little self-protecting lies:
We should not say that Kindergartens are for the kids. We must admit before the kids that we want to get rid of them for a while. We want to work.
Some of us work much more than we need to, and in those cases we can not tell our kids that we have to work. Just: I love to work and love to get my wages.
We must understand real reasons, face them, admit them frankly. As simple as that. No mix-up of concepts.
Kindergartens are not there only to allow our kid to play with other kids. But the kid should see that learning to get along with others is a valuable experience. Even noble strength for each man. Learning not to possess mother's time is a lesson in itself. Consideration of mother's longings, and a "space" she should have for herself, is a lesson of consideration. And it is good for families to have money. But there should also be time and good contact -- without the little protection-lies.
If...(this something).......then........only...(thatsomething), if not........then not....... (the "shop").
The 12 year old boy, Siggi, is not allowed to watch his favourite TV-show (the German Rex, the police dog) if he (Siggi) does not obey something, or if he does something banned.
Siggi has invented a clever net of lies to bluff his parents, because the kids in school discuss the favourite TV-show, in this case Rex last night in the TV. Siggi will be ridiculed in school if he has not been allowed to watch.
He has a choice: To obey mom's whimsical rules, or disobeying, and that he does. Then he invents credible stories and feeds mom on them. Obeying will not be in the picture if he can avoid it by little lies. Siggi is a very smart little creature. He masters the situation.
I am worried about how Siggi will use his clever lies when he has a wife and children himself. Enjoying a good family at home is a blessing. Watching TV with loving parents is educational. Even that murder department pass-time episodes.
Having no lies and no rotten clever strategy against one's beloved ones brings peace of mind and healthy trust.
Rules should be understood as love and care. They are for the kids' well-being and protection. A sound reason and discussion of rules is better than a punishment entirely out of context. An untidy room should have nothing to do with a ban of watching TV. That way of teaching a kid to live his life is the carrot-stick, the heaven-hell, the silly-parents' way. Such technique is used to get obedience from dogs and donkeys that are just happy to know what to do and what not to do.
Watching TV should be discussed with kids: Are movies good before going to sleep? Is TV there to make money or to convey innocent fun and useful knowledge?
Keeping a room tidy is a subject to discuss too. Why keep a room tidy?
Another subject to discuss:
Are sample-gifts from manufacturers gifts at all? Are they no gifts, but just a trap to get parent's money for the newest craze and frenzies?
Is the priest smiling and telling jokes to the kids because his God is so much fun?
Actually He is a brute and jealous God, no fun one. The purpose of smiling to the kids is to get in members. Not for the good for the members but to expand the power of the church. The priest gets his pay from that institution for exactly that task.
Is the pizza-party in the church to give kids food? Or why does the church have a pizza-party for the kids?
We should teach kids to see more than salesmanship, surface, eulogising. We have to teach them to find real motive in all salesmanship, and in all behavioural patterns.
A smiling mother is sometimes "using" the smile to get her kid to obey. She pretends that they are doing something amusing together, makes silly jokes, puts on a false mood to bluff, "gets" the kid by this pseudo-mood. Her real motive is to get the kid to bed (for example), so she plays, only in order to make the kid more easily manipulated. It is not the innocent play because of her love. It is called the "good" way of getting obedience. But obedience is the real motive for all that "goodness". And we teach our little kid bluff, mood-making, unsound communication.
The need for rest and sound sleep could be discussed. The early-evening sleep is healthy for kids. If they have peace and quiet and loving care, they naturally like to rest. Tragically there are kids who breath in nicotine air and hear horror film sound effects from the TV, and can not get their sleep, even if they are locked up in a dark bedroom and told they must go to sleep.
The grown-up has a superior position to mentally violate the immature child and cunningly mould his attitude. The kids learns to give wrong reasons, false messages. They learn to give cover-up motives that hide true motives. They learn this because we use it "on" them.
They never learn to find and admit the real cause and purpose. The lie and the show-off are let suffice. And shopping and blackmail are thought to be love. The cunning lies and made-up cover-ups are allowed, -- learned from the grown-ups --, and become a habit. They are admitted, allowed, thought wrongly to be the right way to treat our beloved ones.
Some rules are not discussed at all: -Why do I have to do that?, a kid asks. -Because I say so, is the answer. -Why can I not do that? -Because I say so.
There is no use for the kid to try to understand or want to discuss. And we teach coldness and indifference and we teach lack of a sound reason, lack of reasoning.
Black-mail is used, and "shopping". Never should we say: -I shall buy this for you if you......
Better: -Why should we buy this? It costs work for money. "Everyone else has one" is not reasoning from the kid's side. Why we think we need it, is reasoning. To admit our vanity and sometimes to give in for that lovely vanity is fun.
Dare to be different and make an individual very-personal decision. And your kid will learn that pattern of behaviour.
Parents and kids get away with too many pseudo-reasons. The real reason should be discovered and faced with courage. It lies often very very deep inside. Can be complicated to reveal and hard to confront. Fess up, and you shall be proud of yourself for it.
After reaching a conclusion the kid is responsible for his next move, and learns from mistakes with our help, - not with your teasing and belittling. Urður (Urdur), Verðandi (Verdandi), Skuld (Debt), are our own making. Life is for us to become wiser. (Heathen pedagogy.) Give your child support to get through troubles that come from seemingly wrong decisions. "Well, could have been worth trying" is a good support, and so is: "we learn best from our mistakes". Experience makes us wiser, slips and errors make us more careful, having the just-right amount of responsibility makes us self-assured with caution and obligations. The right amount of help and support makes the kid want to help others.
Be careful not to overburden kids with responsibility. Be careful not to help a kid too much. It is very easy to find the right amount of that: What is making little human beings stronger is right, what is making them pettier is wrong.
Only by being fair, true, and sincere ourselves, can we teach our kids to be that. If we are christians we mix up threat and love. If we are heathens we should explain the true reason. Love and threat are extreme opposites and should not be confused to be one and the same.
We face the inconvenient facts.
We take into account that Urður (Urdur) is our previous making, Skuld will be our problem or benefits thereof.
Valhöll (Valhoell) is where the perfected and chosen reach the supreme goal of lives on Earth. Till then we evolve and enjoy the beauty of life and work. But we should do it with self-esteem and honesty. Not in egoistic ways, but self-assured, and discriminative, in our purpose in life.
Sin is a prerequisite for salvation for the christians.
Christians claim that man must be a sinner in order to get attention. The already good sheep need no attention. They are safely in.
We must admit that this attitude is reflected in the attention the naughty kid gets. It pays, in a way, to be rebellious and bad, then people give that kid some attention, positive or negative -- which does not make all the difference for the kid -- as getting attention (from parents or teachers or pals) is the main purpose.
This is somehow reversed in heathenry. For a positive creative thought or act a kid gets attention, but a negative trend is dismissed deliberately, as being something that does not attract admirers, should not have happened, should be learned from, but does not yield an attention; it should not be repeated. Discuss this before it happens, then nobody is humiliated by trying it out.
If necessary this is discussed as "negativity", helping the eotens the eater or decomposers, opposed to aesir the creative trends in us. That negativity showing off does not pay off. We shall not entertain negativity.
And obedience is not necessarily being good. Love and goodwill must be sincere and natural, not obedience only. A very obedient kid should perhaps even be encouraged to be more independent -- not so passively "good"(!), i.e. obedient or just copies of others.
Heathens have no doomsday. Heathens love to be reborn. Of course we are now talking about all men, as all men are heathens in essence. Some only do not know because they get caught by some shepherds and fenced in. Some men never hear about the hazardous free wild life in the wilderness. The imagined security of belonging to a belief-system is a dope. It is relying on others. It is a mental prison-cell encouraging laziness of mind. It is false security.
There is no death. There is life only. And each individual must live his life his unique way. Wisdom should be available, but systems, dogma and belief should be avoided. They are traps. They quench free thinking.
All conflicts have to be met open-minded and with fairness. That is very difficult. But in the long run it saves us the headache of little lies. Its long-run effects (later) effects are total dismissal of double-ethics. The total dismissal of shit that must be dug like cat's shit with some additional little lies to get out of the mess.
In winter, when the soil is frozen, little cats dig their little shit in the snow, and cover it nicely with more snow.
Be careful, man, because in spring the snow melts away. Shit-digging is not always the last part of the story.
The double nature of man, half divine, half worldly, is amusingly portrayed in the stories of Loki (and Loki is us, -- you and me).
If we read the stories of Loki we see ourselves and the error-trial method of mankind's existence, -- and the silly way in which we deal with little problems in our homes as well. We are not perfect, I know that. But we could try to be honest. It might be difficult to begin with to tell truth and expose little lies and little cunning plots.
Please notice that the same words is always for a _honest_and_kind_ man and a _silly_ man that can not elbow his way with smart lies.
Take a few examples and reflect on it. So sweet, so naive, so straight forward, so simple, such a baby, ... go on, find more..................
Gladness means vastness and happiness. Glad is also broad.
There is joy in vastness, and we mean the abounded space of human awareness, of human consciousness. The real joy is the unbounded space within.
Therefore the fair man has strength, but the luring little liar is making a trap for himself, a narrow cage, a narrow mind. It does not pay of in the long run to be mean and selfish and egoistic. The broadness and fairness lead to unbounded power. The power within.
In the big world out there we swim in an ocean of little lies, but even if we have to learn not to let them hook us, that does not mean we have to use the same means.
We heathens have no threats. No shopping or black-mail. A certain effort yields a certain crop. Basta. As simple as that. And our effort brings back the effects of it to us.
Apart from that good deeds promote evolution of all creatures, but bad deeds retard it.
Any kid understands this. I assure you of that kids do understand this.
They also understand what we should not do:
We can not use: If you do this you get that (a reward entirely out of context, -- a reward not in any way a fruit of the action required).
But we could be fair and start: Shall we open a shop and make a deal? The business is: You do this for me, I pay you with that. Just a fair plain deal.
We can not use: If you do not tidy up your room you will not be allowed to watch TV. This is black-mail. A threat followed up by violence and the stronger will sin. Not fair trade.
We heathen parents have to be organised ourselves and help the kid organise his things and affairs. Why should a room be tidy?
Then we have to talk about TV-material, discuss it as great money-business, its influence on us, its possibilities as educational media.
Then we have to admit that we want to watch exiting films before going to bed, and explain that it is not good, and a kid should not do it as he might take a horror scene out of context and have bad dreams, not seeing the meaning of it in context of the whole plot of the play -- as grown--ups can. We even have to visit make-up and props studios to explain the fake and bluff in films, where sounds effects are added to make us upset and agitate us and tease our nervous system and spoil its peace and health.
We drink coffee, watch TV, ask our kid to get a healthy evening sleep, because Eir is the peace and tranquillity we need for our own good. How can we reason? Can we stand up to it without humiliating ourselves? (We can not use little lies, -- remember?)
The trouble with rules made by parents is that the rules are for the parents's needs, schedules, ease, program. Not for the evolution of the little soul. Kids are forced to fit into a society of grown-ups. They should be of no trouble to grown-ups.
In the country kids learn to work and that is a good thing. They see the need for work to get result. In cities they might just see parents grab the car-keys and rush of. "Go to work", but what is work?.
Gangs of kids can be of little value to each other as getting a lesson on self-education, because the most wicked one takes the lead and role of bringing up. That is why city people make sure that all spare-time of kids is scheduled.
Sports containing rules are said to be very good. But there is still something to worry about: If all the time (in a kid's life) the claim (of the surroundings/society/systems) is "following rules", there is no time to be alone, make creative plays, get into little troubles as falling into the brook and have to run back home alone all wet and crying.
We do see why traffic rules are there. Rules suppress freedom, but are very good to protect us one form another and from known perilous troubles. But we must understand them in real context: rule/prevention.
A healthy type of challenge:
In the wilderness we learn to find out what is the responsibility of our own judgment, responsibility, precautions, risks. There is not red light and green light before jumping over a brook. We take a change. It has not been precalculated for us: red, unsafe, green, safe. We jump at our own risk. Falling into the icy water is a shock. Reaching the other bank is victory. These little things lack in towns. Even in sports we are always trying to be better than others. The one up. The brook is not that kind of challenge. The brook is a healthy type of challenge.
See what I mean?
So: What kind of rules?
Rules and law for tyranny and despotism are rules and law. So are rules and law for democracy too. So are rules made only to protect us from hurts and calamities. Is there a difference?
Have the words rule rule rule different meanings depending on their purposes: (1) for the despot, (2) for the people, (3) for little personal safety?
House rules for the needs and easiness and pleasure of grown-ups only have a different effect than teaching a kid to schedule his self-restraint and plans of performing his own pleasure and duty in life with discrimination and self-responsibility. The right amount of aid and ideas from beloved parents should be there. The universal benefit should be pointed our. The longings of other persons and their needs should be considered. See what I mean?
The first kind of rule (what serves grown-ups) is easy and convenient for the grown-ups. The latter (my longings and other men's rights) is a priceless inner fortune for the kid to learn.
"Rules" are just a good or a bad thing depending on how they are made to serve, which purpose they serve. Are we teaching responsibility or are we dressing an obedient doggish ass, that in life becomes either a slave or a tyrant himself.
Give the right amount of help to the kid that is learning to rule himself. He needs encouragement, and to learn self-discipline. He will also learn to give the right amount of help to others. Not ruling others, not obeying others, but being a fair co-operator.
Lies and falseness.
The priest smilingly tells the kids that the church is for them and that Jesus loves them, but his real purpose is to hold his sheep in the church. That is what he gets paid for, and Jesus is only used for the selfish self-expanding purpose of the institution church.
Jesus was a very good man, and he would never have consented upon the crimes of the church and all the lies and fraud used in his blessed name.
Coke and pizza at the expense of the church - if the kids show up - are serving the same purpose as the slogan: Jesus loves the kids. Jesus did love kids, but he was not a christian, he did not want kids manipulated to a sheepish nature. He wanted them to find divinity in themselves. Jesus was a pagan. Not a christian.
Are we using these same church's tactic and ways in our homes? We should revise all our Schauspiel.
The winning-loosing method of parents towards kids is no good. (Do you know what the winning-loosing is? Either the parent rules or the parent looses; either the kids obeys or it wins; this is a very very bad pattern in a home.)
We should use love and trust, not disdain and mocking. The performing together with the trial-error method, the learn from mistakes, the helping through difficulties, the help to self-help, is much much more beneficial for all human beings,
I was right, serves you right, you should have obeyed. (the parent won); or:
OK you had your way this time so you certainly will not have.........(something our of context) the next time you want it.
If the kids "wins" the parent looses, and the kid is arrogantly proud and with his eyes alone humiliates the parent. Or the other way round. Love and trust do not thrive in this kind of atmosphere. Never never make this situation come up. Never.
Love you kids but do not smother them. Do not teach them obedience. Teach them self-esteem and responsibility. By fairness and love this is easy. Such kids will surprise you by having laid the table before you show up from work. They will put a note in the hall on the family board:
Went with Susie to play basket ball, mom,
shall be home before dinner;
I love you,
The most difficult thing for us is to start being honest and earnest. We might not have practised that for some time.
listening to questions and giving an answer,
really being in contact,
smiling because of joy and love, not to make the kid obey "sweetly";
because cunning luring smile is mental violence. The superiority of the grown-up to "know" the methods that "get" the kid.
Talking more about falling into the brook:
To look at a video-tape and laugh when some cartoon-character falls into the brook is very very different from the experience of the bruises, the ice-cold water, the wet-clothes shock, and mother's abusive smile when we have run home, cry on the kitchen floor making a pool of water and tears there. We need sympathy and we must learn to feel for others. If mom laughs we cry even more. Our pride is hurt. But getting small accidents is a good exercise - if we learn to handle them in a sound way.
If we only learn to laugh at other men's accidents and rejoice in their failures, we will never have real friends in our life.
Cartoon is amusement, but sick humour for kids; -- violence that is made funny is not good. Avoid that or, even better: discuss it.
Sometimes I worry.
Are we depriving whole generations of initiative, freedom - the attractive uncertainty of freedom and opportunities abiding in the wilderness? Wisdom and experience of others are a treasure, but to be deprived of our own chance of a self-idea trial-error experience is killing the human will to seek for the unknown individually. Even PhD thesises are planned and suggested by someone else than the aspirant.
The aspirant is surer of a consent if he does something that the professor likes. Does he ever after take a change to do something fresh and not-agreed on beforehand???
Here I must include a funny experiment that a class of Icelandic college kids made: Their Icelandic-mother-toungue-teacher had a hobby: planting trees, trying to grow a forest in Iceland. That they knew.
A theme (topic) for a little thesis (that this particular teacher gave one day) was that every kid should write for next week: "Growing trees in Iceland".
The kids (well teenagers they were) made a secret arrangement: half of the class should write about the great plan and benefits of trying to grow woods in Iceland, the other half against it, mocking and ridiculing the silly attempt, as trees would never thrive and only spoil the fascinating bareness and all-stones scenery in this barren beautiful country. They even carefully put "good" students and "bad" students equally in each group (pro and against). The experiment ended in a show-up of marks (from the teacher) for the "writing a thesis in a good Icelandic". Those who wrote against forestry came out poorer than those who wrote for the "beautiful idea of planting trees". This, obviously, had nothing to do with writing good Icelandic.
The teacher was shocked when they presented the outcome to him.
Do you see what I am trying to say? Kids tend do things in a way that makes them popular. They gradually learn that it pays off to let others manipulate them. We need space to be unique individuals, what each one of us is, really, but have only the chance to be mass-mandated herd-animals. the mass-upbringing is in the hands of people on wages. I am not saying that all parents are good and all teachers are hired educational machines. I mean: Individual contact, hugs, home, family, sitting on the laps of grandparents reading fairy-tails, I-and-my-queer-uncle relationship, all are becoming rare. Professional mass-educators are taking over. Learned discipline, that has been taught in many books and come straight from the bible of Judaism: father is the head of the family. This behavioural model, withheld by the christian church, gives one person power over others, and power corrupts. It always does.
Here I must also state a comment from Icelandic research, from scholars of sociology: "As long as christian moral (actually lack of ethics) about marriages refuses to admit facts about itself, and uses empty words, lofty illusions about the known christian women-disdain (that comes from Judaism, we know), there is no hope for battered and mentally subdued wives to get their bad position admitted and mended."
There is no need to stress here that millions of children are brought up in western homes, where the patriarchy of the Jewish bible, and the withholding of women-disdain in the christian sects, are a model of behaviour. The picking-order found by herd animals is in our western Judeo-christian society among those western "educated" people, that are either capitalists or communists or atheists or anarchists -- or whatever. The strongest, the male, has power over others. He might not be the most intelligent, the best spiritually evolved, the best-natured person in the flock (his home, school, society, work). No, actually he might not be the right person for a position to influence and/or for holding any rights that others do not have.
Back to the family that has hugs and love and contact and what we must not loose:
In every family stories should be told by illuminating parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, where the kid gets time to think and talk and ask and suggest and add his own view. To many stories are already illustrated in a book or on a tape by someone who gets paid for it, -- and at the same time spoils the freedom of child's creativity to imagine, fantasise, visualise, "make" his own type of characters and the environment and add events to the story.
Books are better than the TV or tape for the little kid, as the tempo in video tapes can not be governed. The faster the better? This creates passivity and we know there is no chance to stop and thing and fantasise. Just watch passively, desperately, so not to loose anything.
But grandpa telling a tale is fun: The imaginary not-pictured character is so much more mystical, real, charming, powerful, luring, open to imagination, than the one illustrated beforehand. Our own mental picture is more suitable than one on which we are fed.
And creativity suffers from feeding of already solved secrets.
If, for example, a book decorator gets paid for a picture of Þór (Thor) as a strong guy with a determined expression on his face, we are spoiling something for the enjoyer of the story of Þór (Thor). Pre-feeding is not very good.
Þór (Thor) is a personification of powers, electricity, efficiency, might and main, the putting-things-right, the never-give-up. He is not a person. Personification is very dangerous. We should rather talk about the necessity of Mjöllnir (Mjoellnir, the miller, the grinder) in order to destroy the old and give way to new creation.
Look at some misleading personifications of Þór (Thor) and Óðinn (Odinn) and compare them to your imagination of electricity, evolution, and human consciousness.
Does Mjöllnir look like evolutionary cycles of matter, grinding and recreating?
No wonder we think heathenry is idolatry a lá catholics.
Too bad, that sometimes homes are not for the kids. The kids have to fit in, if not to be a nuisance.
More and more responsibility is on institutions in society, such as schools and sports' programmes. Soccer bullies and gambling are called "those interested in sports"! Someone makes money on it. 22 men that overdo, over-strain, their bodies, and million bullies drink beer, shout, watch TV. It produces adrenaline that is unhealthy unless we wear it off.
Of course if matches can substitute wars, that is a good thing. But do not let your kids hear you calling bullies and TV watchers athletes or sports' fans. Some of them are lazy idiots. Some make money; some get carried away, some gamble, some get injured.
It is a good thing if your kids do go out to kick that ball themselves every now and then (or too much all the time(!!!)). That is sport. And of course they like to watch a match on TV and remember names of their favourite squads and teams.
But drunken bullies are not sporty men.
A sad fact:
A holiday resort in the wilderness in Iceland had to buy playground-equipment and a TV-set. Why? There are brooks, cliffs, caves, valleys, bushes, moors, sands, pebbles, wild flowers, wild birds, plenty of space, (etc., etc.!); no traffic dangers, all a paradise. So why city-stuff?
The parents wanted to go inside and watch TV and sip long-drinks after the long drive, and the kids wanted to go outside and play. There were no designed playgrounds, no basket and asphalt, no swingers nor climbing-device, no plastic toys, and nobody could teach them how to play free in nature. The parents did not know how to use stones and logs and imagination. Or they are too lazy to. They are tax payers, so everything is professionally provided.
Parents hardly know how to go for a safari walk without hurry and an aim. They can not saunter talking to their kids and listening to their kids in the peaceful nothingness. Even picking flowers in the meadow to bring mother is not thought of, or picking wild berries, because the only flowers the city-kids have seen are the cultured garden flowers that they must not "steal" from the owner, and berries in towns are poisonous from pesticides and vehicle-exhaust.
So the place (the holiday resort in the wilderness in Iceland) was loosing clients - unless they bought and brought the designed (sterilising?) civilisation up there into the mountains.
What we, -- the now-old-people of the creative self-playing times, -- got as kids of the country-side, is too precious to deprive the coming generations of. Go into nature, parents, and talk to your kids, and listen to nature's sounds with your kids, and listen to your kids.
However much money you could earn at work that day (and miss because you are in the wilderness doing nothing), the riches your inner child gets that day will be (compared to the lost earnings) a priceless treasure. Do it again and again.
To walk bare-footed in the bog, get iron-red feet, and catch a cold the day after, is a priceless experience. It is very good to kick a ball on a square asphalt field, but we must not have every bit of life designed for us. In the end even the designers becomes sterile.
One thing I want to point our to you: There is a little white round thing in the night sky called moon. Watch it with your kids. The sun illuminates the part of the moon that faces it. So when the moon is in the same direction as the sun (new) we can not see it, but when it is on the opposite side of the sun we see the side facing us fully illuminated,. Full moon. Sól (Sol, Sunna, Sun) and Máni (Mauni, Moon) are deities. Feel their power in silence. Feel their power in you.
Stop the lies and false reasons:
Of all the things that I want the most to change about how we treat our kids, the one of "little lies" is of greatest importance to my mind:
The double ethics and the habit of misusing concepts, giving false reasons, subduing by wrong explanation, are very very bad. The short-time gain of obedience will not make society better. Fraud and false reasons become a habit, and fairness and truth are forgotten.
To begin with it was sly, and an easy way to manipulate a child. We teach our kids a lousy habit. -- Perhaps unconsciously and involuntarily. We teach it by using it ourselves, and from now on we should stop it.
Our societies are soaked in lies and wrong use of concepts. The concept "love" is no better defined than "rules". If we use the concept love as if it meant that others shall love us but not us giving love, then kids will learn to use love for egoistic purposes as a bluff.
Falling in love is most of the time egoistic love.
If mom is good to a kid only to make it obey, puts on a dishonest smile that has the purpose of cunning tyranny, love is betrayed.
To play with a child only to get it in good humour to make it obey to go to bed, is different from playing for the fun of playing, and giving inner peace, Eir, before going to sleep.
Do you get me?
The kid is not going to sleep just for the only purpose of giving mother a brake. No. It sleeps, soothed by pure love, to recharge the batteries for the next happy day of life. The body gets a brake, but mother's love is effortless and comes naturally.
In the western world some concept are in great danger.
The church used the word democracy to mean the biblical law, but the most trustworthy Israelis know that the Bible and democracy are extreme opposites.
We know that the church is not for the people. Not at all. It is the other way round: People are there for the church. People are a necessity to it to pay money to it and to serve its purpose. There love is a lie. The purpose of the church is its own power and expansion. The only purpose, an egoistic one. Love of God is a lie. God of Moses is a tool for obedience and he killed all males that did not obey the rules made by the God he invented. He banned all other gods and goddesses and for disobedience of that rule people are killed too.
Then the priest smiles, and the church talks about forgiving. We shall forgive that the church murdered our heathen forefathers. And that God forgives only those who obey the rules his contact-medias make.
Now we shall take a look at how society's behavioural patterns, is reflected in how we behave in our homes; -- and the effects both ways, as kids brought up in to-day's homes are to-morrow's makers of society:
Perhaps we are to enraptured in the vicious circle as not to see it?
We have to brake it. And each one of us shall start working on himself. We need not work on others, if everyone....... -- I recall a slogan invented by an egoist that took care of his own needs above and before anything else: "If each one cares for himself, everyone is taken care of(!!!)".
What I call fraud is the egoistic way of behaving, so that we no longer give pure love to our kids in our own home. We are told that the power of the church is love. Perhaps we do not realise that this is a lie. Parents have even been told to punish kids out of love towards them. Punishing can never be an act of love. Perhaps we are brain-washed and take power for love, lie for the true reason. The priest smiles to the kids and the purpose is to get them to come into the church in order to expand the number of adherents to the church. And as we do not see through the lie that so runs: the church is good for you, we use that same kind of lie and say to our kids: The only way to love is to make rules that suit "me" and serve "my purpose and needs" -- and then make others obey them under the falseness: Obeying is the only good thing for you.
Some homes have this lie instead of love. They perhaps do not realise what they are doing to the tender new generation.
The God-monopoly is not for the people's good. It is for the empirical reverie. We must relearn the meaning of concepts and realise that we are soaked with this abuse of concepts for the selfish purposes of the stronger one, the dominus.
No need ever to punish.
Love, when real, is far too powerful ever to need a dirty aid of threat, beating, black-mail, lies, power-order, obedience of rules. Pure love expands love. Fairness calls for fairness. Truth generates truth. Self-discipline is the individual's power, inner power, that he benefits from in his circle of friends, school-mates, teachers, coworkers, future home of his own. No need ever for petty nastiness against others. A self-disciplined person is not an easy prey for aggressive, possessive, bossy people. He gets along without the winning-loosing method. The security-feeling of a true person is a fortress of tender atmosphere and behaviour. Even will be rare for him to have enemies, as invincibility is here never to come across an enemy.
A home should be all-love for the kids and a fertile garden for their individual evolution. Kid is a unique individual. Each one of us is. Home is a lovely place for bairns and their unique needs. Not a hollow place that is indifferently waiting for the moment when they grow up and go away, and the only thing they learned is false concepts and no respect but for their egoistic purposes or obedience to cunning tyrants that they come across in life. Egoism and egocentricism is contrary to love in the meaning we want to use in heathenry. Freyja is the all-pervasive universal love, the perpetual dynamism of creative power. She, the goddess of love is within us and is not egoistic love. A mother that gives pure heathen love will be respected and loved. For her a kid does all the good it can think of.
Án er ills gengis nema að heiman hafi.
An Icelandic proverb runs: Our good life sure is there for us, unless we learned some bad conduct in our home as kids.
(Án (aun) er ills gengis nema að (adh) heiman hafi;
(each man) án (without) er (is) illt (bad) gengi (going, luck, success, repute), nema (unless) að heiman (from home) hafi (has).
Only if people possess true joy and sweet love they will be able to give it to others. We can not give what we do not have.
Less and less do parents and grandparents sit with kids among the wild flowers in a lonesome grove, making troll-stories from the fluffy clouds above; (--try to relax flat on your back and watch the sky). Or we should sit by the fire during winter with kids on our laps and make fairy stories _with_ them - not _for_ them, actually, because they are the most creative little creatures when someone is there to listen. We should laugh with them and suggest creative questions that need a solution. Not too severe, only amusing and intelligent. Why do we have to buy high-geared "amusement" and think everyone gets bored if do not?
Quietness is not necessarily boring at all. All this speed and noise is not necessarily amusing at all.
The best stories I ever heard are those that my kids and grand-children improvised for me form cliffs (full of dragons) and clouds (that change appearance every second) and even potatoes (that became the spark for the many stories about the farming of an alien, called Tak, living on his star, where the sly but good-natured witch on her broom visited him and taught him the funniest witchcraft I ever heard of).
So: Think about this:
Are crammed cities and mass-upbringing suffocating, and are they exaggerating attack and defence and constant awareness of a reaction to others, instead of providing the human spirit with its need for space, nature, heaths, moors, mountains, brooks, rivers, falls, the sea, freedom, wilderness, total confidence in the environment, individuality, the need for being alone, and for our beloved Eir, our goddess of inner peace, tranquillity, soundness?
The sounds of nature can be heard only when we stay in nature for a long time and listen. She is there for us if we only give her a chance. But there can also be peaceful atmosphere in our very homes. If we want.
So nature does not mean total solitude and lack of company of others. This does not imply that education and schools are unnecessary. Only, do not overdo these scheduled non-stop programs. The best thing we can do in the crammed cities is to give our kids a peaceful loving home every day, and a trip into the peaceful nature on week-ends. They will be better off in the big world if this peaceful "togetherness" of a family is the basis of their life.
If they learn to recharge the batteries in the peace and love of a home, they will gradually have the power to make the world a good place to live in.
Tell the kids to find their innermost longings. It takes time but it is worth it. If we only remind kids of the clock, the time schedule, the duty of society, but miss out their desires, we are killing creativity and initiative. We damage their ability to find their own course in life. They should not learn to live the life of another man, but to find their unique purpose. As we evolve, spiritually, these our unique purposes get more and more refined. "My will" does not imply inconsideration towards others. No. It might even be beneficial for the whole of mankind. There is no: not a I want but as you want, in heathenry. It is all about: I should know what I want. Gods and goddesses are positive creative powers within me. My uniqueness is my power too, and my duty is to be no less than the universal consciousness. That is a very easy task. My fate is my chance and key to it. No rush. One thing at a time, as all eternity is mine.
Teaching a kid not to obey commandments but to be responsible for his trends and longings and their effects and benefits for all men, is a sound thing to teach a kid. Life will be worth living when each person feels his or her power over any situation, however lousy it might look at certain moments(!!!-that befalls, you know).
The desires of individuals are their due and viable way in life, way of life. It is genuine. This point of view brings, into our life, great responsibility and great demand for awareness.
We can start with a new-born. He is trying to tell us something all the time. How we handle it is the preprogramming of an individual. Cry is telling us something. But a baby can easily become a tyrant and keep us awake during night. We must avoid the loosing-winning method, but the baby must find love, and we must get sleep. Find a compromise. We can. I know. We always can find the very best way. And a baby and parents will be friends, working for happiness, -- together. No loosers, no winners. Friends only. And jovial siblings too.
Tell kids about Urður (Urdhur, what is done, and even cowardly inertness), Verðandi (Verdhandi, becoming, the process, that takes place in life and between lives) and Skuld (Debt, karma (action) coming back). Tell them about our long-time goal to gain perfection and gradually to dismiss all egoistic desires. That is aiming for Valhöll (Valhoell, the abode of the chosen). This our present life is a little step on a long way. Do not live it blind -- like Höður (Hoedur, blind warrior, Baldur's brother and killer) with the mistletoe, nor sleeping and drowsy like Thorn-Rose, Sleeping Beauty, and Brynhildur whom Óðinn (her own spirit) stung with a sleep-thorn. Be aware and responsible, a living human being.
The edda teasingly calls us fish. Where is a roaming fish in muddy water aiming?
Teach a kid to see the whole. Not only the troubles of to-day. The little things are only pebbles on the long road. Why that road? Why all this going on? What am I here for? Did I ask to be born?
Yes, my dear, you chose to be born. Because we are in the middle of a game, the game of life, and you do not want to miss it.
I am responsible, as I decided to be born here and now, and my parents were my choice. What I am up to is what I have to do here an now. It is just like shovelling cow-shit --- a job that I loved when I was a kid, as singing for cows is the best thing a kid can perform. A protagonist with the most grateful listeners ever to be found. Morning and evening during winter there was new cow-shit and a new concert. In summer the cows grazed out in the meadows, and sometimes it took hours to find the little herd and bring it home for milking. Then the birds were the orchestra, and the trapping of the cows the down-beat. My angle-soprano was the happiest sound in the whole world of men.
Always keep in mind (we say: "put it behind your ear"):
The troubles in this life are my opportunities to deal with Skuld and prepare an even better next life. Very egoistic this sounds, but the best thing I can do is to do well what I feel worth doing. Not do that what I do not like. I must trust myself to know what is right.
There are, you know, some musts, as for the school there are fun-subjets and boring subjects too. They have to be pulled off all of them. So that is just what I do.
OK. I have to take out the garbage for mom every day. But I love my mom, and therefore I just take out the garbage. It takes only one minute a day, anyway. I will survive that; it must be a nasty plight from Skuld. And Skuld is my own creation, anyway. I can not blame my mom for my Skuld. Garbage will smell and fill the home with bad odour if not removed.
On the farm the hens and calves got most of the leftovers, and the cat and the dog some of it. The unedible trash was burned in a metal barrel. And it smelled so delightfully well when it was burning.
The use of fear has been going on for too long.
Fear of God, fear of head-master, fear of the dominant parents.
We must regain -- for our kids and coming generation -- our ancestors' confidence in life. They never needed fear. There is nothing to fear. Not even does death exist. There is life only.
The great power in the world is love. Lack of love is a mistake. Anything less than pure love will not do for us.
Kids should not be afraid of the big bad wolf. He is a place that we shall regard as a part of the cycles. Kids should not be afraid of the darkness under the bed. We shall regard it as ignorance that will be expelled by gradually gaining understanding of our ancient heathen profound and pure wisdom. Óðinn (Odinn) has two wolves, Geri and Freki. The are fed on meat. Our hero is always reborn out of the wolf's belly - safe and sound. But for the godly divine part of us there is honey-brew, the flow of life in us.
A lovely comment from a heathen kid:
A heathen kid (my grandson Bjarni Þór (Thor)) said: The only trouble with these our rebirths is that we have to learn anew every time to read and to write and do our maths' homework.
Heathens do seem a bit egocentric.
We seem to worship ourselves. But that only is to appreciate our human divine inner potentials. The church used to call it: contemplating one's own navel, when heathen find their inner gods and goddesses and contact their inner power. But that is only the strategy of that institution christian church to mock other men's sacred concepts. We do not listen to them.
We try to see any wrongdoing in the world as our own enemy and fight all wrongs and unrighteousness as such. Not only because of Urður (Urdur), Verðandi (Verdandi) and Skuld, that is our egoistic purposes of getting good repay for good deeds, but also because all beings are of the Oneness. All of the same divine origin. If wrong is done to any creature or nature itself, that wrong is done to me. Yes. We are of the Oneness. We are the Oneness, Ginnungagap. The sacred ginnungagap.
We shall teach our kids to look at themselves as bubbles of ginnungagap. This is pure wisdom. Profound theosophy. The basis for theurgy. We tend to underestimate children's understanding. We should not think that we have to talk baby-language to kids, and we should not think that they do not understand this "heavy stuff". They do. They understand science. Even better than grown-ups. Jesus really saw this. We even loose something very precious when we stop being kids. I shall reassure you that children understand no less than we grown-ups.
If we see ourselves and all other men as bubbles of the one and the same ginnungagap, our kid will see all the other kids in school as bubbles of the one and the same ginnungagap. If one is hurt, everything in the world is hurt. If one is happy, the whole world feels his happiness.
Myths do use a childish language to convey the most profound wisdom. They refer to nature, and some of the myths look really silly and naive. But still they get audience for thousands of years all over the globe. How come?
Why do we listen?
It is because we are bubbles of the one and the same ginnungagap, and that is what myths are telling us, unique kids, --- in their unique way.
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